The hardest part of grief isn’t losing our loved ones, it’s learning to live without them that’s the hardest part of the journey.
Trying to find a new normal without someone who’s played such a significant role in your day to day life … that’s the hardest part.
Having the flood of memories come at you all at once when you’re driving alone in your car, while doing the dishes, while you’re getting ready for work … all of a sudden it hits you— how so very much you miss them until you have to catch your breath and remember to breathe through the tears and the pain … that’s the hardest part.
Thinking about the things you wished you’d said or done differently, which then turns into a heavy blanket of guilt that leads into the deepest of depressions … that’s the hardest part.
Days after the services are over, when the doorbell stops ringing and the sea of people who said they’d be there for whatever you needed stop calling or checking on you to see how you’re doing, when those who said they’d pray for you that you now can’t even reach on the phone, when you feel all alone and have no one to talk to or anyone who can really understand how you feel because no one speaks THIS language … that’s gotta be the hardest part as well.
ALL of grief is hard and it’s a process. It comes and goes in waves and cycles. When you finally reach the last cycle of grief known as the Acceptance Phase, the guilt will start to come back again. But I hope you’re comforted in knowing that you’re not changing what happened or forgetting your loved one, you’re only changing the way it lives within you. Isn’t that what your loved one would’ve wanted for you anyway? Grace isn’t just for everyone else, it’s also for us to give to ourselves and it is absolutely ok to begin again however many attempts it takes to do so. This angel mom wishes you very well on your journey through grief because I DO speak your language. 🌹🙏🏾