Trauma changes us permanently. This is the big, scary truth about trauma. There is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of the grief model marks universal changes in learning to accept loss, but the reality in fact is much bigger. A major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no, “back to the old me.” YOU are different now, full stop!
This is not a wholly negative thing, but that is dependent on how you proceed post-trauma. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy again. The goal of healing is not a “papering over” of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal again. It is to acknowledge and WEAR your new life — warts, wisdom and all — with your newly discovered courage. Healing then is a lifelong process of integration. A process of accepting into our being, what we’ve been through, how it’s impacted us, and opening ourselves to ongoing evolution as our understanding of our experience continues to deepen.
I’d like to encourage you that although sometimes this is a very hard task to master, commit to remain emotionally present throughout the process and allow it to manifest a beautiful new integrated level of peace into your life as it is now. 🦋